ConFuzzled Automatic Waiver Of Obnoxiousness (AWOO) Permit
April 1st, 2017
Taking into the consideration the weight of public opinion on the matter, ConFuzzled has taken an executive decision to, under certain circumstances, allow some obnoxious noises to be made by a subset of attendees.
To prevent overwhelming disruption to the hotel, the ConFuzzled Directors are restricting these sounds to Sponsors and have categorised the various noises permitted and provided reasonable restrictions on their use.
For a breakdown of the AWOO Permit’s allowance categories, see the table below. This table is also printed on the reverse of the Permit for convenient reference.
All Sponsors will be issued with their AWOO Permit during on-site registration and are encouraged to carry it with them at all times.
1) If restricted noises are made during the convention and you do not have an AWOO Permit:
a) If it is your first offence, you will be given one (1) verbal warning.
b) Further infractions of the restriction rules will result in you being locked in a soundproof chamber for up to 30 (thirty) minutes for your next two (2) violations.
c) For your third (3rd) violation, you will be locked in a room with the Pawpets UK cast attempting to rehearse their big musical number for up to one (1) hour.
d) Any further violations will result in discretionary fines being issued by the ConFuzzled Directors.
2) Failure to display an AWOO Permit on request will be treated as if you do not have an AWOO Permit. And may still result in you being subject to Rule(s) 1(a,b,c,d).
3) ConFuzzled Staff and Crew may obtain permission to exceed the terms of their Permit:
a) If provided written permission provided by their Head of Department, Associate Director or appropriate Director and according to the terms in Rule 6(a).
b) But cannot issue such permission themselves.
c) Staff members provided permission to exceed the permit terms will must have been on staff for under three (3) years and comply with the terms for Rule 6(b).
4) Exceeding the allowances from the reverse of the Permit:
a) This will result in an automatic fine of £25 (twenty-five) per infraction to be donated to charity. You will also receive three points on your permit.
b) If your permit has 12 (twelve) points or more on it, it will be confiscated and a further £50 (fifty) fine will have to be paid to the charity.
5) Starting a howl remains restricted under any circumstances.
6) ConFuzzled Heads of Department, Associate Directors and Directors may issue permission to exceed the terms of the AWOO Permit to:
a) Any Staff or Crew member provided they adhere to the terms detailed in Rule 6(b).
b) Permission to be exempt from the restrictions can only be issued if the staff member has been on staff for more than three (3) years and comply with the terms for Rule 3(c).
7) The AWOO permit contains sophisticated anti-fraud technology (revolutionary colour ink, sophisticated computer-designed wavy lines, thick card, cunning repeating text patterns) of which it is a serious offence to reproduce. The punishment for which is:
a) One (1) hour reading about the motorway numbering scheme for the first offence. There will be a test.
b) Two (2) hours listening to a lecture on the different sounds made by trains on the UK rail network for any further offences. There will be tepid Horlicks and a complimentary anorak.
Permitted AWOO categories
|Category||Time between uses||Max uses per day|
|A/ Awoo, howl||1 hour||3|
|B1/ Bark, yip, yap||30 minutes||6|
|B2/ Sustained B1 use||4 hours||1|
|C1/ Small cat noises||30 minutes||2|
|C2/ Large cat noises||1 hour||2|
|D/ All other animal sounds||2 hours (exemptions apply)||4|
|E/ Airhorns||6 hours||2|
|F/ Fart gun||3 hours||2|
|G/ Loudhailer, megaphone||4 hours||4|
|G(f)/ Loudhailer + fart gun||12 hours||2|
|H/ Squeakers, birdcalls||2 hours||4|
|J1/ Speakers, boomboxes||16 hours||1|
|J2/ J1 use with fursuits||36 hours||1|
|K1/ Loud eating noises||24 hours||1|
|K2/ Slurping soup||14 hours||2|
|K3/ Chips chanting||7-10 business days||1|
|L/ Loud talking during event||Prohibited||N/A|
|M/ Cheerful morning person||Prohibited||N/A|
The regulation of Obnoxious (including Awoo) noises does not constitute a pardon for any prior offences under the previous rules.
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