Greetings, fuzzy dudes! You have to help me out. I got homework due, and because of all my traveling through history and talking to important dudes that did excellent things, I don’t have time to finish it. Please, dudes, you gotta help me!

Five sentences. That’s all the teacher’s asking for. Come on, my friends, please? If I don’t hand this in, I’m gonna be sent away, and then I won’t learn to play guitar, and then we won’t form a band, and then we won’t solve world peace! Here’s what the teacher told me:

    • 5 Sentences maximum. No more. That’s like, one sentence for each finger. On your hand. Unless you’re missing a finger. Then it’s one more than the number of your fingers. On your hand. The one that’s missing the finger.
    • You gotta write something about our adventure! Like, anything from our last 10 years of Confuzzled, dude!
    • Hey, what number am I thinking of? Sixty-nine, dude! But if you write about a sixty-nine, then I can’t read your story, ‘cuz this panel is totally rated PG-13, amigo.
    • Do I sound like anyone? Like, in a movie? That’s okay, but if you give me the same name and make it clear that I’m a copyrighted character, we’d call that totally bogus.
    • If you don’t have your homework in by midnight the night before the panel, then you’re going to get me flunked out and sent to military school in Alaska.
    • The class is at 11-12 on Monday! So be there, or you can’t win. And then you might miss out on drinks or prizes.
    • First place will have their story illustrated! Second and third place will receive drink tokens and told to party on, dudes!

Good luck, dudes, and see you all in class!

*air guitars*

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